mommy time

today I am playing mommy! In other words, driving my brother and sister EVERYWHERE, school, swim practice, (who in their right mind allows their child to have swim practice on a friday night AND at 7:00 AM on a Saturday morning?!?) anyways, I feel like I am living out of a car.

All of this to say...I feel old. I remember being that kid with the boundless energy, wondering why adults were always so boring and tired and drinking that smelly brown coffee stuff. I never knew an 8 year old could ask so many questions, "watch this watch this watch this WATCH THIS x 100000.....Rachael look at this...hey Rachael..." Don't get me wrong, I love my brother but it's sad realizing that I am kinda like that tired adult drinking coffee now? 

So now that I have completely depressed myself I am off to eat frosted w/sprinkles  animal crackers (the pink and white ones, remember those!?) and play with mini-parachute men and footballs...oh boy!

swazi!

I leave for Swazi in 30 days!! I have never been so excited for a trip!
Most of my life I have been pretty cautious and tended to shy away from doing new things alone, because well it wasn’t as safe as doing something I already knew how to do with people I already knew.
I liked the comfort of what I know.
But something in me clicked last year before I went to Haiti. I didn’t know a single person going on the trip. But I wanted to go so badly I didn’t care. The funny thing is that as soon as I stopped worrying, I met one of my now closest friends (and future roomie!), Courtney, on our first trip up to Jacksonville for a meeting about the trip.
God moves in really strange ways bringing people together.
Fast forward to now…
I spent my spring semester searching for a trip to Africa this summer. I looked all over the place, online with nonprofits, churches etc., trying to find an affordable but exciting trip working with kids. I shouldn’t have wasted my time trying to “plan ahead” and find this amazing incredible trip anyways because the perfect trip was being planned by the church I already usually attend.
God moves in really strange ways bringing me opportunities.
Taking risks has never been something I have been good at. But I guess nothing is a risk to God, he knows what he is doing. I just need to rest in that. And he has taught me to be a lot better about risking by trusting him.
Considering all the trips I have been on, Haiti by far as been the best, the trip where I went in knowing no one and with few expectations about what we would actually end up doing…maybe I should just stop planning anything ha, seriously though…
In our meetings for Swazi so far, everyone who has already been keeps saying, “Just Remember, TIA…” (This is Africa…), meaning who knows what will happen when we get there…
A year ago that would have made me a little nervous. I mean, I like To-Do lists and plans, really like them a lot actually, but I think I have learned that the possibilities and opportunities “not-knowing” brings is a lot more fun after all.

the beginning.

so i have always (secretly) thought blogs were a little silly, but recently started really enjoying reading other peoples' blogs, weird I know.
Since the summer is long, I thought I might as well try it out.
I feel like the experience of expressing myself somewhere will be something new and fresh.

I'm reading one of Steve Brown's books "What Was I Thinking?" which I am loving because he always puts into words the things I am feeling...

"Some of the meanest, most condemning, angriest, and hardest people I know are people who call themselves Christians. Not only that. Some of the kindest, most compassionate, and most loving people I know don't claim to have made any kind of faith commitment. In fact, you'll find both kids of people inside and outside of faith communities.

So what's the difference? The difference is that the Christians have run to Jesus, and he's accepted and loved them. That's it. Are they getting better? Well, at least in that they know what "getting better" is. Sometimes they are better. Sometimes they're not better. And sometimes we don't know that they're better simply because they were so bad in the first place that they had a long way to go before anybody could tell the difference. Some who ran to Jesus are better than unbelievers, and some are worse. Some are so beaten up that all they can do is be still and allow God to love them. And then there are others who've been loved long enough that they can now love others. The difference is Jesus...

Goodness as defined by Jesus is quite difference from what we might suppose. Usually those who are good don't know it, and others don't know it either because 'Goodness' is a thing that takes place inside a person and has more to do with an attitude of love and graciousness than it does with obeying the rules. Sometimes the meanest, least godly people obey the rules. And sometimes the people of whom Jesus seems most fond have the hardest time getting it right. In the Bible, the people who obeyed the rules better than anybody else were, I would remind you, the very ones who ticked Jesus off the most" (119-120).